I have heard time and again from various set of people that God created Mothers because He couldn’t be present everywhere. after seeing today’s supermoms in and around me I am in awe of them. They start their day before everybody else in the family, cook, clean and tidy up the house, help the kids with everything, look after the old and ailing, also assist in the financial planning and as if this wasn’t enough they also go out to conquer the world. It amazes me every single time when I come across such women that they have given their everything to the family and to the kids, and yet there is one small part of them which keeps nagging. It is unsettling to see such remarkable women who have established so much be it office, or home, yet feel guilty!
You must wonder when one has a house that is spic and span, an office which accommodates her ever changing roles, a family that adores her…. what is it that she is missing or that she feels guilty about.
Women have a habit of downplaying themselves and judge others for all the hard work that they put in. It is not uncommon when we hear women judging other women for their hair, eyes, looks, clothes, home and what not!
Mothers who have young children and who surprise everyone by managing their careers as well as home and children, still feel guilty that they do not give enough time to the kids.
Ladies, please understand that you are but human. Not one of you is from Kryptonite. You all have your plusses and minuses. It is but obvious that if you do X, you might miss out doing Y! Despite all the odds, you have achieved a lot in life and now you want to judge yourself by someone else’s definition of perfection! WHY?
Going forward from where you are, you will come across a lot of things. Someone may be an excellent cook and will be able to cook a full meal for Lunch in office. Someone might do the kids’ projects better. Someone else could look great with not a hair out of place. Someone might have impeccable taste in jewellery and clothes. Someone might have a house which has everything in order while someone else might be a champion speaker. Stop comparing yourself to all others in the world.
None of these “someone” is YOU. Then why should you be guilty of not being able to do what they are doing. That’s not YOU. It is important for every woman to understand that their worth cannot be measured by someone else’s achievement. Those someone aren’t the best mother for your kids, you are. So be YOU. Be the one your kids look up to and be proud of. If you are a working mom and get only a few hours with your kids, you are teaching your kids to be independent. You are teaching your kids that while there are way too many temptations, and people around you who you adore, it is still important to get up in the morning and go to work.
If you are a home maker, you are teaching your kids that everything you do has a reason and its your choice to not work. Every choice is independent and deserves the same respect. If you are managing both together you are teaching your kids balance. So, you see there is a silver lining to everything. It is about time that you realise it for yourself.
All a kid really wants is a happy childhood. If you as a mother are miserable with your choices, your kids will be afraid of making the same choices even if they actually want it. I recently came across a lady who said she will not be a home maker despite her kids. Her mother was miserable being a home maker. And even though she wanted to be around for her kids, she hated the idea of being judged by everyone in the family! I was quite taken aback by her responses. I now know she is making a choice purely because the other one didn’t work out for her mother. Aren’t we doing the same thing over and over again? Feeling guilty yesterday, today and tomorrow that we can’t spend time with our kids because we go out to work or we are not achieving what we want by just sitting at home and looking after our kids. Why the guilt? We don’t have to prove ourselves to the world. We only need tiny loving arms and curious but understanding minds.
The world has put Motherhood at a Pedestal which is near impossible for any woman to completely achieve. Having said that, it should be our choice to do something or not. And if it really is our choice, then there is no reason to be Guilty!
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